Wicked spirit of Jezebel

Revelation 2:20

Notwithstanding, I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, who calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce My servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols. 

The "Jezebel spirit" is one who displays the insidious, manipulative, and evil tendencies manifest in this woman...

After almost two and a half years, the day had, finally, come!  On June 11, 2021, I sat in the courtroom waiting for the jury to return a verdict. I couldn’t help but reflect back on what had happened. I’d ignored the many red flags and warning signs posted along the long, dark and difficult road I’d traveled since the death of my mother. Now, facing life in prison, I thought to myself, “This can’t be how it all ends!”

After mom died in 2005, my life suddenly changed and everything seemed so uncertain. I wasn’t sure what I should do next. When she died, it felt like a part of me died with her. I couldn’t stop crying because I missed her so much. There was a loneliness and emptiness inside that I had never felt before. In my desire to fill it with love, I would soon make a choice that would forever change my life!

I’ve always tried to make good choices and decisions in my life. For example, I’ve never been to a bar or nightclub. I didn’t drink anyways. And I definitely wasn’t the partying type. Most of the time, I didn’t even celebrate my own birthday. As a child, my parents had not made a big deal of the day I was born. So, the day would usually come and go without much recognition. And my faith in God kept me focused on Him instead of myself. But the person I was about to meet was nothing like that. I would soon learn why opposites attract. And also learn a very hard lesson as to why they don’t usually last. Two horses can easily pull a heavy load. And even though a horse and cow can be yoked and still pull together, they’re too different to move together quickly and in harmony. Especially in difficult situations. Being equally yoked is great biblical wisdom and warning!

I was very socially distant and not very outgoing. Which resulted in me using the only tool I had to date and make new friends. My computer. First I created a profile on the social media site called Myspace. I was able to connect with some family and even make a few new friends. But the prospects for meeting someone to date seemed unlikely. So I tried a new site I found called Blackplanet. It was both a social media site and dating site. And after scrolling through several pages, it seemed safe enough. Although I didn’t live what most people would consider a very exciting life, social media allowed me to make new connections without much risk. Or so I thought. Being new to social media, I really had no clue of what I was in for.

After creating a profile page on Blackplanet, I started scrolling and liking several pages of females who seemed interesting to me. I came across the page of one female in particular calling herself Sweet-P. She was young and very beautiful. She seemed so sweet from her pictures and comments. So I sent her a message asking if she wanted to know why they called me the lion! It didn’t take long for her to respond, to my surprise. She seemed very willing and open to meeting a stranger. Hindsight being 20/20, that should have been a big red flag and warning sign to me! But I definitely was not thinking like my normal self.

Sweet-P sent me a very nice message. To my surprise, it included her phone number! She lived in another city over a hour away. I remember thinking, “This girl either knows what she wants or might be playing a dangerous game.” I mean, nobody gives out a number that fast unless they’re up to something...Boy, was I right! But I wasn’t exercising the usual carefulness and caution. Largely because of the emptiness and loneliness inside of me. I should have taken more time to heal from my pain and loss...Instead, unbeknownst to me, my actions were about to take me down the deepest and darkest road of my entire life. And my strength and faith would be tested in ways like never before.

I eventually called Sweet-P. She sounded as sweet on the telephone as she seemed from her online profile.  And she was very easy to talk to. I remember her talking about her interests in car shows. Especially Mustangs. Not a big surprise since she lived down by Detroit. But that was not one of my favorite cities. In fact, I tried to avoid even driving through there. Mostly because of the traffic and high crime rate! I am a war veteran. I’ve been around the world and back. So a hour drive down there in and of itself wasn’t a big deal. But things seemed to be moving fast. I usually move like a turtle.

I wasn’t sure what to think when she asked me to drive down there and meet her after the very first phone conversation. I tried making up excuses. I mean, we barely even knew each other. And because I had just received an inheritance when my mother died, I was trying to be cautious. But Sweet-P seemed to get angry at my hesitation. She said, “Either come tomorrow or don’t come at all!” I replied, “What's the rush?” She answered, “If you're not interested then just forget it.” I wish I had! Instead, I told her I agreed.

My Cadillac Escalade was nice. Equipped with new 22-inch rims and a custom grill. But it did not come with a GPS navigation system. So I had to use Yahoo maps. And I started the hour long drive to meet the sweet young lady who was so forceful and outgoing. After arriving in her town, I quickly realized the map that I had printed out was not accurate.  So I called her cell phone and asked for directions from my location to where she was. She told me there was a change of plans and she wanted me to pick her up at a location not far from her home. So I drove there instead.

I pulled up to a building at the location given to me by Sweet-P. After waiting outside for a few minutes, she slowly emerged from the double doors of the building smiling. Very beautiful! She was wearing a nice short-sleeve shirt and a blue Jean skirt. I could tell she was very happy to see me. The feeling was mutual. Honestly, I was relieved to see that she wasn’t a Catfish! But I wasn’t sure what exactly she wanted to do next.

After she hopped into the passenger seat, we both said, “Hi.” Then we just stared at each other for a minute...Smiling. I was feeling a little awkward. I slowly asked her, “So, where do you wanna go?” To my surprise, she didn't answer. So I suggested we go to a local restaurant to sit and talk. Before she could respond, her phone rang. She began talking to someone. I tried to listen, carefully, looking for any sign from God to quickly do a 180 back to my own town. 

After the call ended, she explained that she’d been talking to her father. I’d overheard some arguing. Her mood quickly changed from happy to sad...And to my surprise, she said, “Get me as far away from here as you can!” Shocked by her sudden mood change and outburst, I hesitantly asked, “Where do you want to go?” Honestly, I was expecting her to say take her to one of her family members or friends. But, to my surprise, she asked, “Can I go to your house with you?” Not knowing how to answer or what to say, I just sat with both hands on the steering wheel looking sideways at her...

Meeting Sweet-P for the first time definitely wasn’t going as I’d expected. Drama usually waits at least a few days before it shows up with luggage...They say you only get one chance to make a first impression (and that impression lasts). None of that wisdom seemed to matter to her, at all. She just stared at me like a cute little stray puppy wagging its tail – expecting an answer to her question about coming to my home. But, first, I wanted to know why her mood suddenly changed and what the argument with her dad was about. At least I thought I wanted to know. That ride down there to see her was about to turn into a dangerous rollercoaster!

Assuming almost a fetal position in the passenger seat, she began to explain herself. “I am running away from home” she softy said. “Why?” I asked. “Because my daddy raped me,” she replied. Then, she gave more details about her pitiful situation. And, of course, that was very shocking. Not what I was expecting to hear. Especially on day one. But I couldn’t help but feel a sudden sense of sympathy for her. My own dear mother, God rest her soul, had shared a similar story with me before she’d died...My heart melted and I was at a loss for words.

As a Christian man of God, I suddenly felt a duty to help. Being somewhat old-fashioned and chivalrous, my manly nature activated! So I told her, “You can come home with me, just for today. I’ll try to help. Maybe I can talk to your mother about everything.” Honestly, it was a bit too much. Not what I’d signed up for. But, with such a sweet and grateful voice, she said, “Thank you, Jon!” And she smiled, again. Yeah, I should’ve felt good about my decision. But something just didn’t feel right.

It was a hour drive back to my castle (a 5,000 square-foot home with 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms) in historic Bridgeport Township. Which, now, would provide temporary shelter for my new friend, only for a day. Well, at least that was how it was supposed to be. But things rarely turn out exactly the way we want or plan. And, my own situation wasn’t peachy. I’d promised my mother I’d raise my three teenage nephews. They were also living with me the day when Sweet-P arrived.

As we pulled up to the driveway, she smiled and said, “Wow, that’s a big, beautiful house!” Her eyes lit up as she seemed to rise from the dead, almost. Yes, the home my mother left me was the biggest in the area. It sat on about 5 acres and was surrounded by trees. The only thing across the street was a huge field used for farming corn, and a fire hydrant. And as we pulled in, Sweet-P seemed excited! “Oh, you got another Cadillac” she said. “Yeah, I had that car a couple years” I replied. “Nice, Jon” I was told. I knew the Lord had blessed me with a very good life. And it was peaceful, too...All of that was about to change.

We got out the truck and slowly walked toward the side door by the driveway. My house had three doors. There was a front porch and a deck on both sides. Each with a solid metal door equipped with deadbolts. There were also over 21 windows in my home. A shed had been built on to the back with yet another big, metal door. And the entire outside was nicely wrapped in beautiful, beige vinyl siding. Facts that, later, proved to be very important as the drama related to my new friend, Sweet-P, played out!

My three nephews were in school that day in April when she arrived. It’d been about nine months since mom died. And I was still grieving. That’s the worst time to make big, life-changing decisions. I didn’t realize that back then. Pain and grief can have a powerful impact on your mind and cause you to do things completely out of character. And nobody was around to give me advice or to confide in. I was on my own. Captain of the ship with no clear idea where it was headed. It would either sink or sail with me at the controls. And I was too distracted to see the big iceberg up ahead...

After we got inside, I gave Sweet-P a tour of my home. She didn’t say much, just kept smiling. I could tell she was happy to be there. But she hadn't brought anything with her except some keys and ID. She informed me that she didn't have a valid driver's license. I asked if she knew how to drive and she said yes. She laughed that she'd been driving her mother’s car from time to time, even without a license. She told me she'd gotten pulled over by a police officer in her town, but she was able to talk her way out of the situation by flirting with the cop! That didn't seem like a big deal to me at the time. But the fact that she seemed so excited telling the story did concern me...I’d learn the hard way just how important that story and her reaction telling it were, later.

Wanting to get to the bottom of what was going on with her and her dad, I asked Sweet-P to call her mom so we could talk about the situation. She agreed and opened her flip phone to dial the number. She put the phone on speaker so I could listen. It rang a few times before an older woman answered. Her mom was wondering where she was. Sweet-P told her, “I’m with a friend.” Well, at that point we weren’t quite friends or strangers. We were acquaintances, getting better acquainted. And not in the best way. None of that is what you’d expect just meeting someone. I spoke up and said, “Hello, how you doing? My name is Jon. And I want to talk to you about your daughter.” Her mom responded, “Hi, Jon.” She seemed like a nice lady.

I explained the shocking situation to her mom about what I had been told. To my surprise, her mom said, “Don’t believe what my daughter tells you. She lies a lot about everything!” I paused...“Really” I asked. “Yes, she likes making up stuff.” Hmmm, I thought. Then, Sweet-P quickly ended the conversation. We just looked at each other. Her smile was gone, again. After that, I was even more confused. Not knowing what to believe. Could that beautiful, young lady be playing me? Or was her mother in denial about her own husband? Maybe, she just didn’t want to deal with something that deep and damaging. I certainly didn’t want to deal with it. Wasn’t my problem! There was too much on my plate, already.

Sweet-P was sad, again. The conversation with her mother didn’t help, at all, as I’d hoped it would. So, I just decided to give her a hug to comfort her. “I’m not sure what is going on here, but I do want to help you” I said in a calm and reassuring tone. She began crying. “I just need you to be completely honest with me and don’t hide anything, ok” I said to her. No response. I wasn’t a licensed counselor. And that seemed to be more what was needed at the time...For both of us! I let her settle in and just relax for awhile. There was much more we needed to discuss. But it could wait until she was more calm.

Sweet-P was so quiet, I almost forgot she was there. Just sitting and motionless...Far from a happy place. Wherever that is. Well, Heaven comes to mind. But her story sounded more like Hell! So, I suggested we get out of the house and relax a little. And she was quick to agree. Maybe too quick. I mean we hadn’t been inside that long. Maybe a few hours. But I needed to change gears just as much as she did. After all, we were supposed to be getting to know each other, not sitting in the house stressing. And, frankly, I kind of wanted to forget about all the messy drama and make things normal. Yeah, normal is a relative thing. The path I’d landed on wasn’t that. Somehow, we can just get used to crazy after awhile...

“Do you wanna see my town? I know it’s not Detroit, but there are a few fun things to do around here” I said to her with my eyebrows raised. “Yeah, where we going” she asked. “Let’s just drive around a little, first. Then I’ll take you shopping, since you didn’t bring any clothes to change into.” Those words I uttered worked like magic or some cure-all medicine from medieval times. She jumped up so fast I took a step back! “Ok.” Smiling and talking, somewhat, again. Hmmm, I thought. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned shopping. Too late, now. Well, at least it gave me a chance to learn about the things she liked and didn’t like.

Inside the truck, Sweet-P decided she wanted to make the tour of the town more exciting than our dull trip from Detroit. We’d mostly talked about her situation and attempted to size up each other. No surprise. But, now, things seemed to feel better as we buckled into the soft leather seats of my Escalade. She flipped on the stereo and blasted the music much louder than I was accustomed to! I frowned and glanced toward her. Then, I thought, “Whatever...Guess that’s Detroit for you. Let’s roll.”

Our tour of my small town actually was feeling ok. Sweet-P bounced in her seat as the music blasted. And I began to see another side of her...Gone was the quiet and slightly depressed demeanor I had seen. She sang along with the lyrics and even motioned with her hands as if we had front-row seats at a live concert! “Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s my song” she excitedly stated to me as her hands waved in the air to emphasize her enjoyment! I just cut my eyes at her a quick second while keeping my head positioned straight forward, not wanting to show a reaction or ruin her special moment. Her personality was cute. Oh, I almost forgot -- breath, Jon. Why was I holding my breath, anyways?!...

All that excitement was making me hungry. “You wanna get something to eat” I asked. “Do you like Chinese food?” She slowly answered, “Yes, I do. I was wondering if you was gone take me on a real date, Jon” she jokingly stated while looking at me and smiling. “Yeah, of course. Just so much was going on. But, I know the perfect spot” I assured her with my chest poked out and my head nodding, confidently, as I drove toward the plaza where my favorite restaurant was located. I’d always gone there alone, until then.

We arrived at China 1 Buffet. “This is it” I told her with no doubt she’d like it. Honestly, it didn’t seem to matter to Sweet-P where we went, as long as I was giving her attention. It was as if my eyes and my mind being focused on her recharged the battery to her heart, or something. Anyways, we jumped out the truck and went inside for our first date!

So much happened in such a short time. It didn't really feel like the first day. But it was. The first of many. Even with all the drama, I still felt relatively good about our new relationship. We both had experienced pain, problems and disappointments in the past. Definitely had that in common. But meeting someone for the first time and getting to know them is seldom easy. Especially a person you found online. After the conversation, I had a general suspicion and uncertainty about her. So I knew a real date would allow a real connection and trust to, possibly, be established. Since we both needed to talk, relax and eat, that’s how our first date started.

As we entered the restaurant, I opened the door for her, like a gentleman. She smiled as her slim, toned body slowly moved past me slightly brushing up against my muscular physique. Obviously to send a subliminal and flirtatious message of approval. “Thanks, handsome” she softly whispered. “You’re welcome, beautiful” I said, without any forethought. And as we walked in to be seated, her movements mimicked a Monarch butterfly in flight with effortless grace! Suddenly, and unexpectedly, I started to see Sweet-P like a rainbow full of colors and character, appearing moments after a storm. What was I feeling and why, I wondered...Was there gold at the end of the rainbow or just an angry, ugly leprechaun?!

“I already know what I want” I said. Hold on, I’m talking about food. It was time to order. “I always get the buffet, since there’s no wait for that.” She quickly said, “I’ll try that, too.” All-you-can-eat and drink at a very reasonable price. Can’t beat that. Besides, it was just as good as the food made to order. Was Sweet-P trying to show me her willingness to follow my lead or just too hungry to wait on food? Hmmm, I thought. Either way, I was starting to like that girl. Excuse me, that young lady. And it seemed, the feeling was mutual. “I see why this is your favorite place. It’s very cozy and relaxing.” Just what I wanted to hear from her. Homerun!

After we talked and ate, I decided to keep my promise and took her shopping. She wasn’t going to let me forget, anyways. So I headed to the mall. I liked the outfit she was wearing – simple, yet stylish. But she needed something to change into since I’d agreed to let her stay, just one day. Yeah, just one. So, after we got inside the mall, I let her loose and followed close behind...Guess you could say, I was following the beautiful butterfly! And she had NO problem navigating through for the first time. Store one, store two, store three...four...Wait a minute. I was full from the buffet. Yes I wanted to walk it off, but not that fast. She was, clearly, on autopilot. “I’m almost done, Jon” she assured me, realizing I could barely keep up. Honestly, it would’ve been easier if I hadn’t been carrying all the bags. I mean, she was only supposed to be getting one outfit for just one more day with me until I drove her back to the D (Detroit). To my delight she,  finally, said, “OK. Let’s get outta here.” Well, my mind was already out. My feet followed.

Sweet-P was opening up and communicating, much more. So, I decided to keep things going in the same direction. “You want to see a movie?” You know, I asked that thinking at least we can sit down there. “OK, sure, let’s go!” Of course, she agreed. The butterfly was also a little Energizer Bunny. That’s the truth. It’d only been about 6 hours since we’d met. But I was feeling kind of dizzy. Like when you first get to an amusement park and spot the biggest, craziest rollercoaster. You know only a fool would get on it, right? Yet, sure enough, you get in that long line waiting for the ride of your life. With each step, as you move closer, you tell yourself to just get out of line. But, you can’t. You’ve stood there and waited too long to change your mind. You’ve committed to it. So you try to convince yourself it’s safe – don’t be scared. God didn’t give us a spirit of fear. True. But, He also doesn’t want us to place ourselves in unnecessary danger. There's a popular saying coined back in 1711 by Alexander Pope (An Essay On Criticism) which warns, "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." That simply means, inexperienced people rush into situations that more experienced people tend to avoid. Yep, that was me. In that same essay he also coined the phrase, "To err is human; to forgive, divine."

We had a nice time at the movie theater. But we were both ready to go home, unpack and unwind. I had spent way more money than I had anticipated. Dating Sweet-P definitely was not going to be cheap – I knew that! She was a person who enjoyed having nice things. That’s ok. But being too focused on material things can lead to a loss of focus on God. And I was always someone who put God over everything (G.O.E.). She was not. Our differences became more obvious with each passing moment. But our attraction to each other was strong. It felt like there was a tug of war between the two – differences and attraction. Clearly, attraction was pulling harder and winning. I suppose it usually does, for awhile...Until the next person catches your eye!

It was night time when we finally got back to my house. My nephews were there. I hadn’t mentioned anything to them about Sweet-P. Honestly, I was very hesitant to introduce her to them. I didn’t know enough about her yet to completely trust her around three teenage boys. They hadn’t been living with me for very long. So our relationship was still developing, also. They’d always respected me as their uncle. But after my mother died and I got custody of them, I became a father figure. I had a hard time disciplining my nephews and getting them to respect me in my new role. Thus, my hesitation to toss a beautiful, young lady into the mix. You know how that little voice in the back of your mind speaks to you? Well, mine was warning me not to do it...

After we got inside and put away all the bags, I gathered my nephews together. She was waiting in the den. “This is my friend, Sweet-P. We just met awhile ago. She’s going to be spending the night.” I saw their eyes light up with surprise as I told them! “Sweet-P, these are my nephews.” I watched her reaction, closely, during the introduction. Her face lit up with the biggest smile I’d seen, thus far! “Hi, hi, hi, hi” they all said. Hmmm, I thought, as I stood there with a serious look cutting my eyes back and forth between them. “OK, yall can go” I stated with a firm, authoritative tone! All three walked away smiling. I wasn’t. “OK, let’s go upstairs and talk” I said to her. Why was she frozen in that same spot?! I grabbed her, softly, by the arm and led her to my room.

“You know you have to go back home, tomorrow, right” I asked. The smile disappeared and was replaced by the sad face so quickly, it seemed like an evil spirit or something took over her! “Can I stay for one more day” she so softly asked. I wasn’t surprised. “I don’t know. Let me think about it. Won’t your mom expect you back home?” Honestly, I liked Sweet-P, but I wasn’t ready for her to stay. Especially after seeing the reactions between her and my nephews! “She don’t care. Um grown, anyways, I can do what I want” she exclaimed with the most force I’d witnessed, thus far! Hmmm, I thought. “Let’s talk about it in the morning, ok? I’m too tired, right now” I said to her. “Alright,” she agreed.

I had two desktop computers in my big master bedroom with huge speakers hooked up to one. “Can I use your computer” she asked. I exhaled. Just wanting some peace and quiet. “Yeah, go ahead.” I let her. Hoping it’d keep her occupied while I closed my eyes to relax and think. She logged on...“Wanna hear some music while I dance for you?!” I wanted to say, NO. And I wish I had. But, I didn’t want to seem boring and lame to my new friend. “You know how to dance?” Why would I ask that when she, clearly, danced outta her seat in the truck?! “You wanna see” she replied. “Ok.” I figured, maybe, she’d at least dance herself to sleep...

“Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It!... Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It!” Of course, Sweet-P was playing the same song from the truck – her favorite. “Jooooon!” She said my name and I slowly opened my eyes to see her dropping and popping like she was in da club! “Gulp.” I swallowed my own breath as my eyes lit up! “I used to be a stripper in Detroit” she confidently bragged. “Oh, yeah” is all I could say...

It was a long day and an even longer night with Sweet-P. She absolutely did not want to return to her home in the D – that was clear. And she did everything she could to convince me to just see things her way! I quickly began to realize she was playing in a league far above the one I was accustomed to. And she had powers of persuasion like I’d never seen. Those facts were deeply concerning to me. In the Bible, Jezebel used similar powers to control King Ahab. Witchcraft! As sweet and attractive as my new friend was, I had very deep reservations about taking our relationship to the next level. Obviously, that first day left me conflicted. She confessed to being a Christian. But, her behavior and beliefs didn’t run parallel with mine. In fact, they seemed to collide like a bad accident! So, I weighed everything in the balance. Should she stay or should she go? [Exhale] One of the biggest decisions of my entire life.

That morning (day 2), it was time to let her know what my answer was to her question. I’d thought long and hard about it. “I decided to take you back home, today. Pack your stuff. You can keep everything I bought you” I told her, with a heavy heart. She seemed surprised. And, suddenly, grabbed me with a bear hug! “Please, just one more day! Just one more day!” Hmmm, I thought. She reacted as if I had sentenced her to death and she wanted a stay of execution. Caught me completely off guard. “I want to spend more time with you, daddy.” Wait. What, daddy? No one had ever called me that in my entire life, until then. Not even my nephews [Exhale]. “Please” she repeated. Her emotions were so strong, I almost cried...“OK, just one more day. But that’s all.” Well, one more day couldn’t hurt, right? That’s what I told myself. “Thank you, Jon” she so sweetly and gratefully said, while softly resting her head on my chest and hugging me like a cute little teddy bear. All of my defenses fell as I melted into her hands. She was fire and I was nothing more than butter at that moment [Exhale].

“Just keep your bags packed, since you’re only staying until tomorrow.” I guess I felt the need to say that as a way of regaining some form of control over the situation. And it was a last–ditch effort to save face, admittedly. Sweet-P, obviously, began to realize her actions worked on me very well. She smiled and answered, “OK, baby.” That episode showed yet another side of her: charm and no hesitation to say or do whatever she felt would achieve her goals! No, I didn’t see it that way back then. But it wasn’t as if she didn’t give enough clues. That day, she’d changed into a shirt I bought her at the mall. It had big, bold letters on the front which read, “I’M DEFINITELY UP TO SOMETHING.” Of course. And in her own unique way, she was arrogantly letting me know. Why else would she advertise that? I wasn’t blind or illiterate. Well, looking back, now, I must’ve been blind or stupid! I still have a picture of her wearing that green and white shirt – smiling.

In my own defense, it was my sincere intentions to broker a peace between her and her mother. I wanted to help. That’s ironic to me knowing what I know now...Sometime later, Sweet-P’s own older sister would adamantly tell me that my “good intentions” are not enough! Yet, they should be. Especially after proven loyalty, love and sacrifice. My heart was always in the right place. There’s were not. And I would’ve easily come to that conclusion and walked, no run, away. If not for that deep longing inside to share my life with someone special [Exhale]. Instead, my good deeds wouldn't go unpunished.

Everyday, I’d get up in the morning ready to take her back to her home. But each time she’d say, “Just one more day!” And, I don’t know why but, I’d agree to extend her visit another day. Was I enjoying her company more than I wanted to admit? The feeling of loneliness was gone. The emptiness wasn’t. Why? One word with so many possible answers. Yet, only one truth. And that was my only real concern back then – learning the truth. The why. It can be deeply haunting. Why this and why that. Why so much hurt? Why so much pain? Momma used to say, “Only the Lord knows.” But He wants us to know — to understand things and be at peace. Not to be lost, confused and fearful. And I attempted to understand my new friend. Why was her home such a bad place?

Almost a week had passed. Sweet-P refused to sleep in the guest bedroom which had a small, ordinary bed. So she’d slept in my 500 square feet master bedroom, beside me. My California King mattress was big and soft. The huge, white headboard had pillars on both sides with drawers on each end, at the bottom. Right in the middle was a beautiful glass mirror about 5 feet high and 5 feet long. And there was a flat shelf at the top of the headboard with lights underneath that could be switched on and off. It was reminiscent of the great Roman Empire. Fit for a king and a queen. Luxury she was used to and expected. I also had a huge white statue of a lion, meant to represent me – strength and courage! We experienced our first intimate moments, and had our deepest discussions, right there.

Realizing there was a lot of drama in her past, I waited for her to feel comfortable and open up. She did. It was time to fill in the blanks. I’d only been given bits and pieces of her story. That needed to change. “What do you want to know about me?” I wanted to know as much as I could handle knowing, after she’d, finally, asked. Obviously, there were reasons she moved so fast. Even a rollercoaster starts slow before it hits you with twists, turns, ups and downs, right?! So I asked, “What was it like for you growing up?” There was a fairly long pause...It was a simple, common question. Why the hesitation to answer? She, obviously, wasn’t expecting me to ask that question. So I gently touched her hand, giving some reassurance. “Take your time” I said. “Can we talk about something else” she responded, while staring at me with puppy eyes. Hmmm, I thought. “OK. We’ll discuss that, later. Whenever you’re ready.”

Would she ever be ready? Why the reluctance? Was her past just too deep and painful, or was she hiding something? I changed the question. “Why do you like it here with me, so much?” She smiled before answering, “You’re nice to me, Jon. It’s so peaceful here. You’re the kind of man I always wanted. You don’t judge me. I can be myself. And I’m happy!” [Exhale] That was good enough for me. I mean, shouldn’t it be? But I couldn’t forget that old adage: An apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. That’s a proverb which simply means, a child usually displays the same or very similar behavior and tendencies as the parent or parents did, and cares about the same things. I knew enough about her situation to realize that didn’t bode well for the future! Yet, aren’t we all individuals responsible only for our own actions?

Although I was like my mother in some ways, I wasn’t much like my dad. I chose not to repeat the bad choices and decisions he’d made. And I broke the cycle that had led to most of the drama, trauma, and pain of my own childhood. That was me. But what about Sweet-P? Could she? Would she? Without a crystal ball, I just didn’t know...If I took the risk and was wrong, I’d likely lose everything that both I and my mother had worked so many long, hard years for!

Relationships always come with risk and uncertainty. Only God knows for sure what the future holds. We have to wait to find out. But, sometimes, the Almighty will reveal things to us. Those revelations don’t always come as we’d expect, though. They might manifest in a dream, as mine often did. But most often, they’re simple signs easy to see and understand. Like a sudden outburst or change in someone’s behavior that’s extreme. And I began to see subtle changes in her that did not bode well.

Sweet-P loved the internet and spent most of her free time on one of my desktop computers. I didn’t see the need to put a login code on, because I had nothing to hide. Besides, she and I were still just friends. Sweet-P knew I’d talked to other females before we’d met. So I was shocked by her reaction when she found messages between me and another young lady online. “Who is this b@#$h, and why are you talking to her” she screamed at me! Startled, I looked toward her and asked, “Who? What are you talking about?” I had a very puzzled look on my face. I got up and walked toward the LCD monitor. “Oh, I told you about her. That’s the girl I was talking to before you and I started talking” I calmly explained. “You still talking to that ugly b@#$h” she responded, with the most serious face I’d ever seen on anybody...What happened next set the stage for the rest of our entire relationship!

She jumped up out of the chair as I was walking away. I said, “I messaged her once since you’ve been here. Just to follow up on our last conversation, briefly. That’s all.” The girl definitely wasn’t ugly. In fact, she was very attractive. I knew that was what Sweet-P really got upset about. The messages were completely normal and innocent. But, she followed me yelling. “I can’t believe you, Jon” she told me, while I stood there confused by her overreaction. Then as I tried to give her a hug I said, “Calm down. You’re getting upset about nothing.” She broke away from my hug, grabbed my tanktop shirt, ripping it in several places and scratching my chest and arms! “What’s wrong with you” I quickly asked. She had clearly lost all control and was on an emotional ride with no brakes.

“Get your stuff. I’m taking you back home. I can’t deal with this” I told her! [Exhale] Of course, she then grabbed me and apologized. “I’m sorry. I overreacted.” Hmmm, I thought. “That wasn’t just an overreaction...That was crazy” I responded, with a frown. “I think we need a break from each other. This is too much.” To my surprise, she kept grabbing me and apologizing. But, my mind was not changing. After packing everything, I got dressed and we both hopped in my Escalade for the hour plus drive back to the D!

We didn’t talk much during the long drive taking her back home. The radio just played. I was too deep in my thoughts for conversation. And she sat almost motionless, looking like an immigrant being deported. “I do care about you, but things have moved way too fast” I explained. As we got close to her house, she said, “Don’t take me home.” My eyes cut over at her, wondering where she wanted to go. “Just let me out, right here” she sadly said. It was a street corner! Hmmm, I thought. She had her cellphone, so I asked, “Are you going to call somebody?” With tears in her eyes, she answered, “Don’t worry about it, Jon.” And to my surprise, said, “I love you, Jon.” Wait, love? Already? We’d only known each other a little over a week...“Just keep the clothes. I don’t want them” she told me, before getting out with nothing but her cellphone.

I drove away, slowly...Feeling kinda bad. But what else could I have done? She was supposed to help me heal from my pain, not cause even more! Right? So I started the drive back to my town...Then, I turned around to go back. I had to check on her to make sure she was OK. About fifteen minutes had passed. But, she was still standing in that same spot on the corner! It looked like she hadn’t moved an inch. I kept my distance, watching from afar, careful not to be spotted by her. Another ten minutes passed...Still, she hadn’t moved. Unbelievable. Crazy. I thought. Who just stands in one spot that long? Obviously, she does! [Exhale]

Finally, I couldn’t bear watching her stand there like that. I drove back. She smiled when she saw me, as if she wasn’t surprised. I unlocked and opened the passenger door for her. “Get in” I said. “I knew you’d come back, Jon” she softly told me. Well, I didn’t know. At least one of us was surprised...I drove back home, again...

The decision to bring Sweet-P back wasn’t an easy one. [Exhale] My big heart and feelings for her definitely overruled my better judgment. Her issues and drama got worse with each passing day. But she was so beautiful and looked so innocent, it was hard to imagine that she could pose a real threat or danger to me – a lion! I mean, I’d lived a hard life and survived many things that should’ve killed me. What could a young, sweet person like her do to me? Hmm. She’d baited her hook, well. And although I’d tried to get loose, her equipment was perfect and her pull too strong! I convinced myself that it must’ve been God that brought us together...for a reason. Because my faith guided my actions, I yielded to destiny and decided not to fight it...

We both agreed to take our friendship to the next level and became exclusive. I cutoff all communication with anyone and everyone that might upset or anger Sweet-P. She was supposed to do the same with any male friends or ex. I felt good about it. Trust can only be built through genuine actions. And there really wasn’t any other woman I wanted. I was completely captivated by her. And my feelings grew deeper with each passing day. I’d slowly become her little puppy. She could walk me without a leash. I wasn’t going anywhere!

“Can you take me back home? I want to go grab some of my clothes since nobody is there, right now” she asked. “Yeah, ok, we can do that. I want to see where you actually live, anyways” I answered. It’d been weeks since I first met Sweet-P. But I’d not been to her home. So I relished the idea of driving her back there. In my mind, it was a positive sign of trust and openness on her part. “Will you be able to get in the house” I asked, with a serious face. “I should. I got my keys. I’m sure they didn’t change the locks” was her response, as she grinned. “Cool, let’s go!”

We arrived back in the D, and she guided me from street to street until we got close to her house. “Wait, stop right here” she instructed. I pressed the brakes on the Escalade. And Sweet-P looked up the street. “Is that my nosey neighbor on her porch?” I looked in the direction she was looking in. I saw someone. “Then, a car approached us. “Lord, I hope that’s not who I think it is” she stated, while lowering her body down in the seat. “OK, go, drive up to that house right there,” as she pointed. Suddenly, it felt like we were Bonnie and Clyde on the run or something. I cut my eyes side to side, cautiously, as I slowly pulled up to her home. “Wait right here. I’ll go in through the back door and be right back out” she whispered.

As you could imagine, many different thoughts went through my head as I sat there in my truck. Why did a simple trip to get her clothes require so much drama? Why did it feel like we were breaking into her house? Why the sneaking? Why couldn’t she go in through the front door? Hmm. Honestly, I thought about just driving off and leaving her there...She was home! [Exhale] But before I could answer any of my own questions or pull off, she re-emerged dragging a black garbage bag full of her clothes. “Hurry up, let’s go” she said while pointing forward with her finger! I stared, briefly, at her bag, before driving off. I’d expected her to come out with a suitcase. I mean, the house was very nice and in an upscale area. But, maybe I was being a little too petty. It was a nice garbage bag.

On the way back to my town, we made a few stops at stores and places in the D that Sweet-P frequented. “I hate going in there! Mohammad always flirting with me. He thinks I’m his girlfriend” she excitedly bragged. “Is that right” I responded, realizing she’d said that just to test my reaction and see if I cared. “He always tries to get me to come over to his house. I think he’s perverted” she laughed. “He knows I’m way too young for him. But he don’t care” she continued to explain. I just kept driving, thinking to myself, “Why is she even telling me this? And why is she laughing and giggling about it as if there’s a lot more to the story?” Well, as I’d learn, the hard way, her stories always had much more to them than what was revealed. 

Still going against my gut feelings and better judgment, I’d returned home with the person I believed was sent to me by God! There was something about her that I just couldn’t let go or walk away from. She drew me closer and closer, like metal is drawn to a magnet. An Irresistible force that pulled at my very soul. [Exhale] It was clear to me that I’d begun to fall for her – flaws and all! The feelings were something my heart had never felt before. I was on some kind of emotional high. Addicted. She was the supplier. But like any drug, there were extreme highs and extreme lows. What happened next was definitely the latter...

It was official! Not only had we taken our relationship to the next level, but we’d become exclusive and Sweet-P was moved in with her bag of clothes. Hmm. Things were looking up. But just as I started to let my guard down, something unexpected happened. Sweet-P called a couple of her close friends from the D. They informed her that her mother had asked them questions about her recent activities and behavior. “Girl, just keep talking to her and let me know everything she says! But don’t tell her none of my business,” she instructed her two best friends over the phone. Evidently, they’d discussed the drama and things that had recently occurred. “My friends want to say hi and talk to you real quick, Jon” I was told as she handed me her flip phone. “Hello” was all I said. “Hi, Jon. How you doing” one asked, while the other just listened. “I’m OK. What’s going on? You’re close friends with Sweet-P,” I asked. “Yeah, she tells us everything" they replied. Hmm. No surprise. That’s what best friends do.

I wasn’t prepared for the bombshell that came next. “Be careful with Sweet-P. Don’t trust her around your nephews...She told us she’s going to try and sleep with all three of them,” they warned! I just held the phone, speechless. “She’s not the person you think she is. But, don’t let her know we told you that. She’ll come after us” her friends said, with all seriousness. “Really? Ok.” I couldn’t say much else with Sweet-P standing close by and listening. “Alright, bye.” I didn’t want to hear anymore. “Here.” I handed her flip phone back. “What did they say” she asked me, with a look of concern. “Not much. They just told me how close friends y’all are,” was what I told her. Even though, I was itching to reveal the unbelievable accusation! I decided to keep quiet and just observe. I took a wait-and-see approach. Hoping and even praying her friends were wrong.

Sweet-P had decided to sleep downstairs in the guest bedroom, after all. I wasn’t sure why she had a sudden change of heart. But I figured she just needed space and some time to herself. Understandable. I tried to be as accommodating as possible to build trust. However, one night around 10 pm, a strange feeling came over me. It was a weekend. Everybody was home. But it just seemed too quiet. So I softly walked downstairs. Careful not to be heard. To my surprise, it was completely dark! Lights were usually kept on in the kitchen. I could barely find my way through the dark as I slowly made my way into the area where there were chairs and a TV. Hmm. I flipped on the light. And my jaw dropped. There were my three nephews sitting in three of the chairs with their hands over their penises...And Sweet-P was down on her knees in front of them! [Exhale]

“What the hell is going on down here,” I exclaimed! In shock, obviously. They all just looked at me. Nobody moved, answered or said a word. They were frozen in the same positions I’d found them in. Overwhelmed with emotion, I grabbed Sweet-P. “Get your stuff. You’re going back home” I told her, with a broken heart...

I never thought she would betray my trust like she did! Yeah, I was warned by her best friends. But, in my mind, I thought they could’ve had bad motives behind warning me about her nefarious intentions. I knew nothing about her two friends. Therefore, I had very little reason to trust or believe them without seeing any evidence against Sweet-P. That’s just how I was back then. Relationships meant a lot to me. Especially since I didn’t have many. Needless to say, I was very torn and conflicted about my feelings after catching her with my nephews. How could she do that, and why? I mean, the youngest was only 12 years old! But, he was a decent looking and tall fellow with light skin and hazel eyes. The second oldest was dark, like me, but only 13. And the oldest, light skin and 14 years old. [Exhale] 

I was supposed to be a protector and father figure to them. Had I failed them, or had her actions simply revealed a weakness in our family links? Hmm. I mean, things were far from perfect even before Sweet-P entered the picture. My sister had lost custody of all three of her boys when they were in single digits. Both she and the boys’ father had their parental rights terminated by the state. After that, my mother had been given full custody of them. Their father didn’t put up a fight, at all. But my sister fought it, unsuccessfully. The court had concluded that she could not provide a safe environment, stable home, and she was too irresponsible. [Exhale] 

My mother loved her grandsons. No doubt. But, I wondered if she’d taken on too much with them. She had been diagnosed with breast cancer, years earlier. And she was taking chemotherapy at the time. I got many calls from her about my nephews’ bad behavior. She’d called me crying and frantic one day. “I need you to come over here, right away,” she told me! After I got there, mom revealed one of the most shocking things I’d ever heard. “While I was in bed sleep, my own grandsons robbed me and took bags full of my stuff up outta here and gave it to some little thug from their school. And my engagement ring,” she cried! “What,” I responded. I’d never seen her that visibly upset and heartbroken before. She'd beaten them so badly, there were obvious marks and scars all over them! Although mom tried hard to fight, her health continued to decline...On her death bed, she’d made me promise to take care of her grandsons. And I did. She’d forgiven them. So I had, also. 

The incident with my nephews and Sweet-P was eerie. My feelings were similar to those back when my mother had told me about them robbing her while asleep. [Exhale] Unbelievable. But, I didn’t blame them. They were just boys. As far as I knew, they were still virgins. Inexperienced. Innocent. Hmm. Well, ok, not completely innocent. But, I’d never seen either of them with a girl or knew of them having a girlfriend. Maybe that made it harder for them to resist the temptation of Sweet-P. That’s what I told myself – trying to see things through their young eyes. But, I couldn’t and wouldn’t try to explain away her actions. I felt like I’d taken in a stray dog, only to have it turn on me. Then, bite the hand that had fed it! She had to go.

Of course, she begged, “Please, forgive me! Please, Jon!” Her face looked so sad. But, I was cold inside. And I drove her back to the D...Once we got there, she once again, told me not to take her home. “OK, just get out right here” I instructed, with a face like stone. She just sat there. No movement and no response. We were parked behind an apartment building. She cried. “Are you going to get out, or what” I asked her. “Why you doing this, Jon,” she cried. “You know why,” was all I could say. Nothing more needed to be said. After sitting there for almost an hour, I realized she wouldn’t get out. So, I came up with a plan. Talk sweet and let her calm down, then...

“OK, I forgive you. We all make mistakes! Do you promise nothing like that will ever happen, again” I asked. “Yes, Jon,” she softly answered. “OK. You can come back home with me. But, all this sitting and talking got me hungry.” Then I drove to a Wendy’s close by. “Go in there and get me a burger and fries, Sweet-P,” I instructed. She stared at me with a look of suspicion. “Why can’t you go in there and get it, or go through the drive-thru,” she cleverly responded. “I’m tired. And I just want to sit here by myself and think while you run in there and grab the food. Get whatever you want, too, baby” I sweetly told her. “Alright” she said, then hopped out.

As soon as I saw her enter Wendy’s, I backed out of the parking spot. Before I could put the Escalade in drive, she came running out of the restaurant! I quickly pulled out toward the street. She ran after the truck and jumped onto the passenger side door, holding onto the mirror. “Stop, Jon! Stop, please,” she yelled at me. [Exhale] I got up to about 30 mph. Then, afraid she’d fall and die, I stopped. “Are you crazy” I asked. She was still holding on to the side of the truck and crying. It was daytime and people were gazing at us, stunned. “Just get in” I told her, trying to de-escalate the situation before it got even more serious. After she got in, I pulled over to the side of the road, shaking my head...

For the first time in my life, I felt trapped. My relationship with her wasn’t what I’d expected or hoped it would be. In fact, it’d become the opposite! I was confused as to how and why a young, beautiful person could be so emotionally and mentally messed up. She didn’t seem to have any scruples, at all. I wondered if she even had a conscience. Usually, someone’s faith in God or morality keeps them from doing most things that are, clearly, unacceptable. But she'd displayed a willingness to step outside the bounds and limits of what society considered good behavior. In fact, she behaved like a Snowflake! And, that I couldn’t just ignore.

We sat in my truck on the side of the road talking for a very long time. I think me pulling off and attempting to leave gave her a sense of clarity, for awhile. She opened up to me about the allegations of rape against her father. And she went even further. To my surprise, she said, “I was raped by my brother and uncle, too.” Hmm. The plot thickened! Then, she said, “I have to be in court to testify against them!” I just sat, comfortably, in the driver’s seat, absorbing it all. Sweet-P, obviously, came from a life of chaos. Explained a lot. As much as I felt sorry for her, I realized her issues were definitely way too much for me to handle.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” I told her. I said, “That’s a very sad situation.” [Exhale] At that moment, I realized she needed immediate professional help! I suggested that she should seek counseling and not try to run from her problems. “You should go back home and just deal with everything. Then, maybe later, we can talk about our situation.” She didn’t seem to like the idea of returning to her home. But, I knew she had to. There was no chance she’d be able to have an affective relationship with anybody unless she faced her demons, first!

I said, “I need to get a wheelbarrow to do some yard work. I think we passed a hardware store back there.” I drove back to it. “Go in there and see how much their wheelbarrows are for me, Sweet-P.” At that point, she was calm. Might have been because we were both tired and all talked out. “OK, is there a certain kind you want,” she asked. “No, it doesn’t matter. Any one will do,” I answered. Surprisingly, she got out and went into the hardware store. As soon as she did, I jumped out and put her purse and other things in a shopping basket. Then, I drove off.

I headed back to my town – home. And, that time, I wouldn’t turn around and go back to get her. I knew me leaving her there was the best decision under the circumstances. But, it wasn’t easy. Despite all the drama and negative things that had happened, I still cared about her...I turned off my cellphone. The entire ride back home, I sat in silence – just thinking. Wondering if I did the right thing. I honestly wasn’t sure. Ever since we’d met, I’d been forced to make decisions I never had to. And my heart felt things it’d never felt before. Why did God bring her into my life? Was that it? Could the story end like that, or was there more? Only time would tell...

During the long drive home, I prayed for her, “Lord, please watch over Sweet-P and guide her steps. She’s very troubled. Her peace has been lost and she needs you to restore what the enemy has taken from her. Only You can fill her life and heart with what’s missing – I can’t! Lord, You know everything and You can do all things. In Jesus’ mighty name I pray, Amen.”

It’s never easy to leave someone you truly care about. But life, often, gives us few options. Do you continue down a path that’s obviously leading you the wrong way? Or do you turn around and forget about the time and feelings you’ve invested in what you hoped was right for you? As humans, we make mistakes. But none of us like to admit it. Serious mistakes can, and do, cause guilt, shame and regret. So, why does it seem we can’t just make decisions that are right? Feelings. Emotions. That’s why. If we thought and acted like computers, we’d always make the logical decision. God didn’t create computers. He created little copies of Himself – us. And even the Almighty has feelings and emotions!

I was too angry at Sweet-P to allow her to continue staying at my home. The trust was gone. Broken. [Exhale] After I got back home, I turned on my cellphone. There were several voice-mail messages from her. Most of them started like, “I can’t believe you, Jon!...” And they continued with whatever else she had to say. And as I listened, I shook my head. What? Why was she acting shocked? I did the best thing I could do after the Betrayal! People have died for less than what I saw that night in the dark. I wasn’t violent. I hadn’t overreacted. I was just heartbroken. Confused. We needed time apart for my sanity and hers.

A few hours later, my phone rang. It was Sweet-P. “I’m hiding in the attic of my house...I can’t talk loud. My uncle came over here and pulled a gun on me! He threatened to kill me! I called the police, already, but they taking forever to get here,” she quietly whispered. “What? Why did he do that,” I shockingly asked her. She answered, “He mad cause of the rape case I filed against him. He said I’m a liar!” Hmm. At that point, I thought her uncle might be right. But, I wasn’t sure. I’d dropped her off back at home and still couldn’t escape the drama and chaos that came with her. “The cops are here! Let me call you back.” After she hung up, I considered changing my number. But, curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to know how the soap opera ended.

I was on edge waiting for her to call me back. [Exhale] As angry as I was about what she’d done, I didn’t wish her dead! Then, I questioned if forcing her to go back home would forever haunt me if she was shot by her uncle. The suspense was killing me. Why was she taking so long to call me back? Was she still alive? I needed a drink...I don’t drink. So I just sat and waited in silence, with my eyes closed. My mind, slowly, replayed every moment from that day we first met....

My phone rang. I didn’t wait for the usual third or fourth ring. I picked up as fast as possible. “Hello, hello” I said. She replied, “Everything is OK. He got arrested. But he did something with the gun. The cops couldn’t find it! Whew, that was close.” To my surprise, she was laughing. I didn’t understand why a situation like that was funny to her. It’d left me with gray hair. I figured, either Sweet-P uses laughter to cope with her emotions or she’s crazy! We talked for a little while, then hung up. I needed to rest and clear my mind...I turned my phone back off and got ready for bed. That night I said a special prayer, for myself. 

Years ago, I decided to forgive everybody for everything they ever did wrong to me. The problem with that was, nobody had admitted to doing any wrongs to me or asked for my forgiveness. [Exhale] Here’s how forgiveness works: The person who did the wrong admits to the person wronged the things done. He or she then asks for forgiveness (which is an indication of a changed mind and changed behavior). If the wronged person forgives, restoration takes place in the relationship. Finally, trust is slowly rebuilt. Without confession, there can be no forgiveness. You can choose to move on from the past hurt and not let it affect you anymore. But in that situation, there’s no restoration and trust isn’t rebuilt! God, Himself, requires confession and a change in us before His forgiveness is given.

It wasn’t easy for me to forgive what Sweet-P had done. I wanted to just move on and put it all behind me. But after a few days she called and said, “I’m outside the courthouse with my cousin, waiting to go in. There’s a hearing and I have to testify against my father, uncle and brother.” She didn’t sound too happy about it. “Me and my cousin are just sitting in his SUV eating, right now. But I’m going in a minute,” she calmly told me. “OK. I pray everything turns out good for you,” I responded. Hmm. That was the first I’d heard about her male cousin. Seemed odd to me that he was the only person supporting her, since she had eight siblings. “I’m going in, now. Talk to you, later, Jon!” I said, “Alright, bye.”

Several hours later, Sweet-P called back. “It went well. All three of them are in jail, and they ain’t getting out,” she excitedly stated. I was still puzzled by her unusual behavior. It didn’t seem appropriate to me for her to be so excited about the situation. No tears or deep emotion, but joy almost. It was as if she’d been down that road many times before! “I’m going to spend the night at my cousin’s house, cause I don’t want to be around the rest of them,” she said. I knew absolutely nothing about him. So what could I say? “OK. Just call me back and tell me more about what happened.” She seemed to be talking and acting different with her cousin around. “Alright, bye,” she said. Then quickly hung up.

It was late that night before I heard from Sweet-P, again. And I could tell from the sound of her voice, she’d been drinking! She said, “I can’t talk long. I’m tired and getting ready for bed.” Hmm. I asked her, “Where is your cousin?” Something definitely didn’t feel right! Was that guy really her cousin? I wondered. She slowly responded, “Stop, Jon. I already know what you thinking!” How’d she know that? Sweet-P wasn’t very good at lying or hiding what she was doing from me. In fact, she was reckless! “My cousin is in the other room.” I had a few questions, “Did he buy you the alcohol? Are you drunk? And where are you sleeping?” As much as I wanted not to care, I had to ask. “Bye, Jon. Awww! Oh! I gotta go...” [Click]

Obviously, something very strange was going on between Sweet-P and that guy. She hung up, fast. And it sounded like moaning I heard! Hmm. But, she said the guy’s her cousin. Was I just tripping? Maybe. Maybe not. I was still struggling with forgiving her about what’d happened at my house – now that! Then, I reminded myself, I don’t really know her that well. And she was back home in the D. I took her back. So, cool. Let me get some sleep...

Change is a part of life. God made it that way. But it can be good or bad. Our choices and decisions largely determine what kind of changes happen to us and around us. There’s an old Christian belief that “prayer (faith) changes things.” And I am a witness, from my own experiences, that it does. However, on the flip side, the lack of prayer (faith) is like a serious illness that’s ignored. Without proper care and treatment, irreparable damage or even death can occur! But what about mental or emotional illness? If ignored, that can be explosive. As humans, we can only handle so much on our own. Often we need the help and support of others. Knowing when to seek help is very important for our wellbeing. But, too often, we choose to run from our pain and problems. Instead of facing the demons that haunt us, we run. We self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. And that’s exactly what the devil wants!

Sweet-P had a very hard time dealing with her problems. She’d been surprisingly open and honest with me about the demons from her past. But the more she told me, the more shocked I became. During one of our many long conversations, she’d told me, “I started drinking and getting drunk when I was nine years old.” Yeah, nine! [Exhale] I’d usually just listen and let her talk. Seemed like her way of trying to begin healing. Maybe it was her crying out for help. “I’d get so drunk, I couldn’t walk! [Giggle] Sometimes, I forgot where I was at or what my name was,” she admitted. Hmm. I remember thinking, “Where were her parents when all of that was happening? And who was giving her alcohol at that young age?” Seemed to me like Child Protective Services should’ve stepped in! [Exhale]

Her behavior with that so-called “cousin” back in the D was eerily similar to the stories about her past. Was she repeating the same mistakes and feeding those demons, again? I needed to know! So, I called her. It was early Afternoon, the day after her court hearing. The phone rang...No answer. Voice-mail. That was the first time I’d called and she didn’t answer. Big change! Why? It had to have something to do with that guy she was with. I hadn’t met him; didn’t know him; but already didn’t like him. [Exhale] Were they “kissing cousins?” Hmm. Maybe I was just overreacting. As much as I hated to admit it, I missed her...My feelings had changed. Was I experiencing jealousy? No, not me!

Later that day, Sweet-P returned my call. She explained why her phone had gone to voice-mail. “My battery was dead and I had my phone on the charger,” she said. Lol. That seemed like a convenient excuse. It doesn’t take a cellphone that many hours to charge. And you can turn it on and make a call within a few minutes of charging. Seemed obvious to me that was a lie! “Are you still with your cousin? And what did you say his name is,” I asked her, with my deepest and most serious voice. She responded, “Yes, I am. And his name is Mikey!” For a second, I thought she’d said, My Key. As if the dude had the key to her heart and soul! OK, that’s not what she said. “Relax, Jon. I’m in good hands.” Yeah, that’s what I was worried about. She said, “Let me call you back, later.” Then, quickly hung up.

Hmm. There were obvious changes in her behavior. At least that’s what I thought. Maybe she was simply being her real, true self. People act differently, sometimes, depending on who they’re around and the situation. I couldn’t help but wonder if my picture of Sweet-P was all wrong. Were her two female friends right about her? Should I have heeded their warnings? Sweet-P was a very damaged person. Could I change her? Or, was she beginning to change me?...Lord, only, knows.

There’s something very unique and different about the feeling of missing someone. It doesn’t matter whether they’re dead and long gone or just absent from your life for a time. The heart and mind long to see, touch and experience the things that person gave. Nostalgia can be a difficult feeling to resist! Especially if there’s nothing, or no one, that replaces what you miss or long for from the past. Unfortunately, that desire can, and too often does, lead to us reopening doors that God shut for a good reason. Reuniting with someone simply to experience what he or she made you feel before can be a very dangerous decision. And I was about to learn that lesson, the hard way!

After about two weeks, Sweet-P called and told me she’d finished all of her business in court. She said, “They all got found guilty and gone do some serious time!” [Exhale] For some reason, the news made me feel less than excited. I just didn’t know enough about her or her family to celebrate as if justice had been served. The questionable behavior I’d witnessed, first hand, from Sweet-P left me asking myself if the whole thing could’ve been a travesty. I definitely didn’t want to support the conviction of an innocent person or persons. But there wasn’t much I could do, regardless. So I’d have to take a wait-and-see approach to everything. Yeah, I’d waited before and saw what happened between her and my nephews. Hmm. But since I felt like she might be healing now, I took a chance and bet it all on her (us).

I drove back to the D to pickup my boo! The time apart really made me long to see her. I’d cut my hair, shaved, bought new clothes, and sprayed myself down with my favorite cologne. I was swagged out – just how she liked. But that wasn’t at all like me. In my previous relationships, I never felt the need to do or be anything other than myself. I never had to change to please the person I was with. Sweet-P came from a bougie family that placed a high value on outward appearances. Money, houses, cars, and businesses were a large part of their identity. If you didn’t have those status symbols, you were viewed as a loser and unworthy of being a part of the inner circle! The things I’d inherited (Escalade, house, money, etc.) made me at least an option for Sweet-P. She’d gone as far as to tell me, “You’re an option for me.” That made me think, “Who or what are her other options?”

When I got there to pick her up, she was just as beautiful as that first day. My heart was racing – beating out of my chest from the anticipation! As she hopped into the truck, we both smiled and hugged. God, I missed her. And she seemed to have missed me just as much. “Hey, boo, how you doing? It’s good to see you, again,” I softly whispered into her ear while she smiled. She responded, “I couldn’t wait to see you, too, daddy.” [Exhale] Sweet-P had an affect on me I couldn’t explain. It was deep and Irresistible. If Delilah was anything like her, I understand how Samson ended up telling the secret to his amazing strength and placed in chains with his eyes gouged out! Even the strongest men have fallen to a woman...

In the Beginning (Garden of Eden), Adam couldn’t resist his beautiful wife, Eve. At that point, he was king of the whole world. He was the alpha male on earth! Well, the only male. But the beauty and seductive powers of Eve persuaded him to do the unthinkable, and betray God, by eating the forbidden fruit. You know the story. All of mankind fell into Sin and darkness as a result of Adam’s disobedience. Evil entered the world. And we men have been repeating that same mistake innumerable times, since. Yeah, myself included.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. But I think that depends on the situation. People can grow together or grow apart. Sometimes, the damage from betrayal is just too much! Yet, deciding to quit and walk away for good isn’t easy when the heart’s involved. Especially for someone who believes in forgiveness and redemption. After you’ve experienced God’s love and received His grace and mercy, you deeply desire to show that toward others. However, kindness is too often seen as weakness!

There was mutual excitement between myself and Sweet-P about being reunited. It felt so good! Our brief separation seemed to be just what we both needed. With the drama in the past, I had high hopes for our future together. Oh, the possibilities! I was euphoric. She looked even more beautiful to me than the day we first met. And her demeanor was much more relaxed and peaceful.

It was late, so we got ready for bed. The energy between the two of us was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. Sweet-P was wearing a fragrance of perfume that sent chills through my body when I smelled it! Captivating. Lord, I was flouting on cloud 9...And I wanted to stay there. As we stood next to my bed, I slowly grabbed her. We embraced. Time seemed to stop as our lips touched. Hers were so soft and wet. Passion. My mouth and tongue moved effortlessly with hers as she leaned back onto the bed. “Wait, let me turn off the lights, baby,” I whispered. “Hurry up,” she said. [Click] It was a very long night...[Exhale]

Despite our problems, I still believed God brought us together for a reason. Later that night, we cuddled and talked about our feelings for each other. Sweet-P had captured my heart. And I felt like she was all mine. She softly said, “I really love you, Jon.” Completely defenseless, like a city with no walls and no guards, I fell into her hands without a fight. Waving my white flag of surrender, I looked deep into her pretty little eyes and said, “I love you, too, baby!” [Smile]

Early the next day, I woke up to birds singing and the sun shining outside. Sweet-P was still asleep with her head resting on my chest. My left arm was around her. [Exhale] We were in a happy place. I carefully slid my arm from underneath her head, gently replacing it with my pillow. After freshening up, I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. “What do I have in this refrigerator?” I was starving! Nobody else was awake, so I tried not to make a lot of noise. Hmm, I had an idea.

“Wake up, baby, I made you breakfast!” She was still in the same position in bed. “Hugh, what, breakfast...You made me breakfast?” She smiled and rose from the dead. “Aww, that’s so sweet of you, Jon,” she said, while yarning and stretching at the same time. Sweet-P was so cute in her pink pajama top. The bottom was on the floor next to the bed. I smiled at her and responded, “You’re welcome. I figured you had to be hungry after last night!” She grinned and blew me a kiss.

Over the next few days, we got back to our routine. No drama. Days turned into weeks...Then, Sweet-P dropped a bombshell. “I need to talk to you. It’s something serious,” she said. I got that feeling, again, that I was about to hear bad news! [Exhale] She just stood there staring at me. I had to force myself to ask, “OK, what is it?” I sat down, just in case I fainted. Then, with that look on her face, she explained, “My period didn’t come; I think I’m pregnant.”

I honestly didn’t think it was possible for Sweet-P to be pregnant. Yes, we’d been intimate. But, I was careful. I’d made it very clear to her that we should wait before having kids. The timing wasn’t right for that, yet. I wanted for us to have our house in order and be married, first. Wait. Things started way too fast. And, now, a baby? My Baby? Hmm...

One thing is for certain, there was never a dull moment in my relationship with Sweet-P! The rollercoaster would sometimes slow down, but it didn’t ever stop. There was always one surprise after another...

A pregnancy test verified that she was in fact pregnant. What I didn’t know was how far along she was or exactly when she’d conceived. Hmm. And what about that mystery guy she claimed was her cousin, Mikey. I obviously hadn’t forgot about him and her highly suspicious behavior while with him down in the D! Yet, I was supportive. Even though I couldn’t afford anymore bills, I immediately got health insurance coverage for her. Set me back over $300 a month.

I knew we needed to have a serious talk. So, one night, right before bed, we sat and discussed everything. I asked her, “Who is that guy, Mikey, exactly?” Slowly, she explained, “He’s not my blood cousin. We’re only cousins by marriage. My aunt is married to his father. But we’re very close. Mikey was the only person there for me when I needed help. My mother had accused me of trying to stab her with a knife and had me locked up in a mental institution! They tried to drug and rape me in there. Mikey hired a lawyer and helped me get out. That’s why I love him and I’ll do anything for him!” I was shocked. I had no idea she’d been institutionalized. That deeply concerned me. Big red flag! Was I dating someone crazy? And how much of a problem would that cousin, Mikey, be in our relationship? [Exhale]

With a baby on the way, I didn’t have time to worry about much else. Sweet-P was excited about it. She’d wanted to get pregnant so bad. She explained to me, a baby would mark her independence from her parents and bring her a happiness she never had. “I’ll be considered grown and nobody will be able to tell me what to do,” she explained. But, I wasn’t sure she fully understood the responsibilities and costs that come along with a newborn child! An abortion was never discussed. Besides, I was against that.

I went with her to each doctor’s appointment. The ultrasound images looked strange to me. I’d never seen one before. The nurse revealed the estimated date of conception. Hmm. It was around the time Sweet-P was with her cousin, Mikey! When I asked her, she said, “That’s just an estimate, Jon. Don’t start! You know you dis baby daddy!” Well, I actually didn’t know. But, my mother raised me right – to be a man and take care of my responsibilities. And I really loved Sweet-P. Back then, I couldn’t fathom being lied to by her about something as serious as that. I wanted so badly to trust her. So, I blindly accepted it. A decision I’d, later, regret...

You know the old saying, “Love is blind.” Hmm. I definitely agree and understand that! [Exhale] When you truly, deeply, fully love someone, it’s overwhelming. It overpowers your reasoning and judgment. If there was a song to describe my feelings for Sweet-P back then, it would be a classic by Alicia Keys, No One. It goes like this, “I just want you close, where you can stay forever. You can be sure that it will only get better. You and me together through the days and nights. I don’t worry ‘cause everything’s gonna be alright. People keep talking. They can say what they like. But all I know is everything’s gonna be alright. No one, no one, no one, can get in the way of what I’m feeling...” Yeah, no one and nothing, I thought, could come between us.

I always wanted to be a dad and have a family of my own. That desire played a big part in my blind acceptance of Sweet-P and her pregnancy. I knew I could be a great father and husband. Taking care of other folk’s kids was hard. Mainly because the biological parents kept interfering. So, I figured my own kids would listen and be much more obedient. Yet, having children before marriage didn’t sit well with me! I’d seen how disastrous that decision was for my sister, and many others. As a man of God, I wanted to live a biblical life. Sweet-P wasn’t dumb by any means. She knew that. And she used it to her advantage.

“I want to get my driver’s license. But I don’t have a copy of my birth certificate. We can’t even get married without it, Jon! Can you help me get it,” she asked. Well, I liked the fact that she was motivated to get things in order. I answered, “Yeah, I can try. But why can’t you get your birth certificate from your mother?” Looking irritated and smacking her lips she replied, “If I could do that, do you think I’d be asking you?!” She had a point. Her relationship with her mother wasn’t great. And the allegations of rape made the rift between them even bigger. Hmm. Sweet-P had powers of persuasion way beyond the norm.

We drove down to the courthouse where she said her birth certificate was. After a short wait, the clerk called us up. Sweet-P said, “Yes, I need to get a copy of my birth certificate.” I was impressed by how she could go from ghetto to professional with the flick of a switch! She gave the clerk her name and birth date. Then we waited as the lady put in the information on her computer. “I don’t see anything, ma’am. Can you give me that information, again,” the clerk asked. It was entered, again. To my surprise the clerk said, “There’s no record of you in the system, ma’am. I checked it, twice. What hospital were you born at? Maybe you should go check with them.” With a look like a deer caught in headlights, Sweet-P agreed and we left the courthouse.

I was completely puzzled as to why her birth certificate wasn’t in the county’s database. I asked her, “Do you think your mom has something to do with that?” She answered, “I don’t know.” Fortunately, the hospital where she said she was born wasn’t too far away. We arrived there and went inside. We told the receptionist about the problem and were told where to go to, hopefully, get some answers. After walking down a long hallway and through several doors, we reached a window with a lady. “Can I help you,” she asked. Sweet-P explained the situation. The lady was a nurse and was dressed in all white. After entering the data, she said, “I’m sorry but I can’t find anything in our system with the information you gave me. You can try going online or going to the state building in Lansing.” I thanked the lady and we left.

On the way back home, Sweet-P was quiet. I didn’t know what to think or what to say. “Are you sure you were born there,” I softly and hesitantly asked. To my surprise she answered, “I don’t know, I wasn’t there!” I quickly responded with a little irritation, “You were a newborn, but you would have to have been there. I understand that you were too young to remember, though.” After a long silence she confessed, “I have something to tell you...I wasn’t born there. My mother got in trouble with the feds for forging documents when she was pregnant with me. And she had to leave the country for 5 years! I was born in Cuba." Wait, what, Cuba?! She explained that her family came from Cuba and used to live in Florida. [Exhale]

With that big secret out of the way, Sweet-P started gushing secrets like a broken dam! She told me, “Before I met you, my grandfather died. He was rich! And my mother told me he left everything he had to me. That’s why we’ve been feuding and I left home.” I sat silent just listening and driving. I didn’t want to interrupt the flow of truth. She continued, “They don’t want me to get the money and stuff. My grandfather owned a big company, had mansions, and a lot of cars!” Hmm. Suddenly, things started to make sense...

After so much drama and lies, the truth came out. And it was just as shocking as everything I'd been told before! Sweet-P wasn't just running away from an abusive home in the D. She was heir to her grandfather's empire and I was her knight in shining armor, whether I liked it or not – her shelter from all harm. She'd chosen me of all people for such a noble thing [Exhale]. But, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Many phone calls from her mother and death threats soon followed! They say, "Hindsight is 20/20." And it truly is. If I'd known back then what I know now, I would've never let Sweet-P convince me to get involved in any of her family drama. But, my deep feelings for her overpowered my reasoning.

Worried about her safety, Sweet-P made a video in July, 2006. In the video, she explained in detail all the drama that led up to her leaving her home in the D and moving in with me. Several threatening messages had been left on my cellphone by her mother, Judy, and a female cop. Sweet-P had also recorded conversations she’d had with her mother and ex-boyfriend, Mark. I was shocked by what I heard in the conversations!

The first recording was both a warning and desperate plea for Sweet-P to share the huge inheritance. Her mother stated, “Look, all you have to do is just come home. If you give me everything, we can end it. If not, you might as well just die! I don’t give a fuck! At this point, I don’t give a fuck. We can end it the easy way or we can end it the hard way! You want to play games ‘cause you up there with that nigga. That was my father that died, and everything should be with me! You come along, now everything’s in your name—house, cars, everything. And that ain’t right. You either give me all the property or give me all of the money. I can get everything out of you! You trying to play this boy (Mark) and you know he loves you.” Sweet-P’s ex-boyfriend, Mark, then responded, “Fuck that dumb bitch! I know one thing, she better get these niggas from in front of this house. Ain’t no nigga gone follow me – I’m a mutherfuckin boss!”

As I listened to that recording, I was completely speechless [Exhale]. I thought to myself, “What have I gotten myself into?!” Sweet-P’s ex, Mark, continued, “Look, how the fuck you wanna do this?! I don’t have time for none of this. You gone either give me that shit or your ass gone mutherfuckin die! I really don’t wanna kill your ass, but you’re one of those bitches that make a nigga want to kill you! You don’t even need all that money and them houses and shit, bitch.” Sweet-P responded, “Fuck you! You just a irritating ass nigga. Y’all sitting around going crazy over some fucking money.” Mark replied, “This ain’t just money, this millions! How the fuck you gone be a millionaire?!”

Sweet-P displayed a variety of emotions as she replayed the recording for the camera. She’d smile, smirk, frown, and even seemed almost ready to cry! I wasn’t sure how to feel about the situation. But, I knew it was very serious! As she continued to play the recording, I heard her mother beg, “Give me that house in Grosse Pointe. You not giving me that house for some reason. And you don’t need that house, ‘cause you gone be up there wherever you at with that nigga. I feel like it’s not fair. Give me something, PLEASE!” Sweet-P was unmoved by Mark and her mother’s pleas. She ended the conversation with, “Look, um gone talk to Y’all later, ‘cause you just babies!” And she hung up. Babies? Wow. She thought the serious threats and begging by her mother and ex were like whining and crying babies!

I was surprised by how cold and closed-minded Sweet-P was to her own mother. It didn’t seem unreasonable to me to share at least some of such a huge fortune with her family. I even tried to convince Sweet-P to just give in and share it. But, not even I could change her heart or mind. Her anger at her mother, for whatever reason, clouded her judgment and made her take a position that she refused to be persuaded to change.

After that, things really got ugly! A female police officer got involved. Threatening voicemail messages were left on my phone! One of the voicemails was a conversation between Sweet-P’s mother and the female cop. The cop said, “I’m going to just drive up there. If I see his truck outside, then I know that’s the right house. Sweet-P likes to go outside. We’ll just wait for her to come outside, then just pop (shoot) her ass!” Judy laughed in the background right before the voicemail recording stopped.

Honestly, up to that point, I’d never experienced anything like that! A police officer, sworn to upload the law and the Constitution, clearly violating the law and making death threats. Hmm. What was I to do? I did the only thing I could think to do and contacted the FBI and authorities. The situation was way too dangerous to just ignore. And I wasn’t at all prepared to deal with it. I really didn’t want to. It wasn’t my problem. But, I cared deeply for Sweet-P. My morals and faith wouldn’t allow me to sit and do nothing. However, I knew once I stepped through that door and decided to help Sweet-P, there was no turning back...

Another day with Sweet-P just brought more drama. I finally knew the truth about her situation with her family back in the D. And it really bothered me! Her mother and the crooked female cop knew my address and threatened to drive there to kill Sweet-P. I was fairly certain my involvement had also placed me right in the crosshairs of their guns, too! [Exhale] But I felt like I’d gone too far to turn around. And I thought right was on our side, since, to my knowledge, Sweet-P hadn’t done anything wrong. It seemed like she was being extorted by them for a big part of her huge inheritance. She refused to back down or give in to the demands. So, I did what any good man would do and supported her – completely! However, unbeknownst to me, there was a lot more to the story than I’d been told.

The crooked female cop left another voicemail on my phone. It was even more shocking than previous ones. This is what it said, “Hello, this is Jessica from the police station. I’m calling in regards to Sweet-P. I’m sure you know who she is! We talked to someone (a lawyer) who informed us that she has been calling them from your number. We don’t know that for certain. We don’t have any evidence to prove it. But, in case you didn’t know, she’s still a minor – she’s only 17 years old. And there’s a missing report out on here. There’s also a warrant about to be issued for her arrest, just to let you know. So, let her call her mother from your phone. I can get a warrant as soon as today! Again, this is Jessica from the police station. Goodbye!” Hmm. Sweet-P said, “That’s officer Sabrina using a fake name of Jessica." I, honestly, didn’t know what to say or what to do. Things were getting way too deep for me.

Sweet-P obviously wasn’t “missing”. Her mother and the cop knew that. They were using anything to try to convince me to return Sweet-P to the D. As far as the warrant being issued, the cop didn’t state what the reason was for the warrant, yet. And it was getting close to December when Sweet-P was supposed to gain access to her inheritance through the court – she’d turn 18. The closer we got to December, the more desperate her mother and the crooked female cop became.

In November, Sweet-P asked me to drive her down to the courthouse, again, where she’d attempted to get a copy of her nonexistent birth certificate. She wanted to try and get a copy of her grandfather’s death certificate and any court papers about her inheritance. I, reluctantly, agreed. [Exhale] We drove down the next day. After arriving at the courthouse, she told me to stay in my truck this time. Then, she proceeded inside. I waited outside for what seemed like an eternity...Finally, she reappeared, quickly walking toward the truck. She looked visibly upset and scared! “What happened in there,” I softly asked. “I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just go.” We drove back home.

Sweet-P was very quiet on the trip back to my house. I just let the music play and didn’t bother pressing her for answers about whatever went down inside the courthouse. I knew she’d tell me whenever she calmed down and felt like talking about it. Sure enough, after we got back home, she told me. “That bitch Sabrina (cop) was at the court with my mother. They saw me and started chasing me! Sabrina put her hand on her gun and I just ran! I was too fast for them. LOL. I Didn’t get any papers, but at least I got the hell up outta there,” she explained. What?! The female cop and her mom had tried to apprehend Sweet-P at the courthouse. The situation was clearly out of control.

I suggested that we contact the sheriff, police chief, and city administrator about the incident at the court. Sweet-P agreed. We sent several emails to the authorities. They eventually responded. After several more days, yet another voicemail was left on my cellphone. It was the cop and Sweet-P’s mother. “What did they say,” her mother asked the cop. “They said, somebody contacted them! Now, I’m in trouble. My gun, my badge, everything’s gone...I’m bout to be broke,” the cop tearfully responded. “Let me call my brother (another cop) and see if he can help,” Sweet-P’s mother told the crooked cop. “Fuck your brother! Um outta this shit. No more going down to that courthouse. We can’t issue a warrant for Sweet-P saying she murdered her grandfather – I told you that! They threw that shit out. I’m done with that shit. I should’ve been at work doing my fucking job,” the female cop told her, with a voice of regret. Sweet-P smiled and expressed great satisfaction after listening to the voicemail of her mother and the cop – defeated.

Sweet-P concluded her video recording of the wild and crazy incidents with her own explanation of what had happened. At the very end, her face lit up like the Sun as she smiled and leaned forward with a look of satisfaction and victory. Honestly, I wasn’t as pleased with the outcome as she was or certain that the drama was over. [Exhale] With so much money and possessions at stake, I was certain her mother, Judy, wouldn’t give up that easily. I wish I’d been wrong. But, I was right. 

It was December. And the day had, finally, come. Sweet-P turned 18! She was no longer a minor. That meant her mother lost all authority and control over her. [Exhale] I'm not too sure she ever really had any. Sweet-P had shared many details about her childhood with me. One thing she bragged about was that she'd never received much discipline or punishment as a child. Her mother protected her more than her seven other siblings. In fact, she had been spoiled! Not only that, Sweet-P’s grandfather had also spoiled and favored her. RIP (REST IN PEACE). He actually gave her a real pet monkey on her birthday, once. Sweet-P loved that little monkey, she said. But, unfortunately, someone had left the front door open one day, and the monkey ran outside, up a tree and to freedom! LOL.

Hmm. That’s a hard act to follow. I mean, Sweet-P obviously had high expectations for her birthday. She wasn’t monkeying around about it – at all. And I didn’t want to make a monkey of myself by being foolish. I wanted to make her day special without overdoing it. It was the first birthday we’d celebrate together. Hopefully, not the last. So, I didn’t want to raise the bar so high that she’d expect miracles and wonders next time! Come on, I wasn’t super rich like her grandfather. And I had a lot of mouths to feed and bills to pay.

Her birthday was never a surprise party. Because she’d always play a major role in planning it. Every detail had to be to her liking. That first party with me was no exception. I paid for it all, of course. However, Sweet-P picked the food and decorations that she wanted. She’d even gone to the local bakery with me and picked out her own birthday cake! Hmm. I didn’t think it was supposed to be like that. But what did I know? I’d rarely ever celebrated my own birthday, even as a child. So I was learning some things from her about how to really live and enjoy life. It was different for me, but cool.

We setup all the party stuff in the house. No guests were invited, that time. It was just me, Sweet-P and my three nephews. I did manage to surprise her with two birthday cards full of money. And I placed a gold crown on her head right before we sang that old birthday song: “Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. How old are you? (Eighteen!) How old are you? (LOL) Happy birthday, happy birthday. Happy birthday to youuuuu!” Everybody laughed and smiled. It was definitely a climactic moment. We’d gone through so much during our short time together. It was nice to be able to just relax and have some fun. Sweet-P closed her eyes, made a wish, and blew out the 18 candles on her beautiful white cake! She cut the cake and personally handed out slices with ice cream. LOL.

That day, we partied and played cards until it was late. I was the DJ, so I started the music with her favorite songs while she danced and cracked jokes about everything. We had an amazing time. And it was all captured on my video camcorder for memories. [Exhale] Yeah, that was one of the best days we ever had together...Unforgettable! For that short time, we put all the drama and messiness out of our minds and just enjoyed each other’s company. For me, that’s what truly made it a special day – seeing her happy and smiling. That night, we discussed our future together. And she made a very big decision about our future.

Early the next day, Sweet-P was all business! She said, “Let’s go! I’m ready, Jon.” I responded, “Are you sure you want to do this?” She was dressed and as focused as I’d ever seen her. “Yes, I’m 100% sure. I love you, baby,” she said, with the sweetest voice and smile. “OK, the lawyer is waiting. His office isn’t that far. Make sure you got your ID and everything, baby,” I told her. To my complete surprise, Sweet-P had decided to make a Will now that she was 18. I was to be named the sole heir to her empire! Hmm. [Exhale] She intended to exclude all of her family out of the Will. I had mixed feelings about that. But, she was very resolute. Her mind was made up!

We drove to the law office and went inside. I briefly talked with the lawyer. He explained all the legal details to us. Then he instructed me to leave so he could talk to Sweet-P, alone. “You can’t be in here when she signs the Will. There can’t be any indication of duress. It’s a huge fortune we’re talking about here. This has to completely be her own decision,” the lawyer told us both. I agreed and left the office. A lot was going through my mind as I sat waiting for her to finish. [Exhale] Her decision to make that Will was smart, I thought. But, excluding her mother and family didn’t sit right with me for some reason. Not even after all of the death threats. But, it was not my decision to make.

After awhile, Sweet-P walked out to my truck and said, “It’s done. I’m ready to go.” I was handed a copy of the Will. “I’ll put it in the safe when we get home,” I told her, with a serious face. “OK, Jon. Let’s go get something to eat. I’m hungry...” I started up the Escalade and drove to one of our favorite spots for breakfast. We had a very long talk about everything. Sweet-P assured me that her decisions had been well thought over. And she had no doubts about her actions. Oh, I’d almost forgot, she was eating for two! She was around seven months pregnant. The baby boy was due in February. Yes! [Smile]

We both had a lot to be excited and thankful for. God is good. In spite of the hell we’d endured, things were looking up. It seemed like things were, finally, going our way and the Sun was shining. However, you know what they say, “There’s always a quietness right before the storm.” Yep. We were in a quiet place, for the moment. But, the storm was coming!...

The red flags and doubts I had about Sweet-P definitely weren’t just my imagination or paranoia. As soon as she reached 9 months of pregnancy, I saw that side of her that she’d tried so hard to hide. Over the next several months of 2007, Sweet-P would run off before giving birth and falsely accused me of domestic violence! Well, my instincts told me to keep a record of everything that happened. So I recorded as much as I could. Thank God.

The state police and governor were even involved! You read what was said and decide for yourself what you think was going on. State police message from 2007: Message from Phone number 989-758-0071 October 18th at 12:14 PM. “ Yes, Jonathan, my name is Chuck with the Michigan state police. Your email to the governor’s website was sent to me to respond. Unfortunately, I sent you a letter and sent you an email. But, unfortunately, the governor’s office is not going to be involved. From doing a little bit of research, we see where you and Sweet-P had an altercation back in February and now that she’s with Mikey and they’re planning on having more children, it’s not something that her office wishes to get involved in. Sorry to have to tell you that. I did send a letter and email in follow-up. Um, if you have any questions after you receive my letter give me a call. Hopefully you’ll find someone that’ll help you forget all about her. Bye.” Wow, wasn’t expecting that at all, needless to say!

Sweet-P had run off with Mikey, had the baby boy, and left him with Mikey! She somehow convinced me to drive back down to the mall where I’d dropped her off and pick her back up. SMH. Yeah, she had very strong powers of persuasion. After picking her back up, we talked. A lot. And this is what was said, “What do you wanna do about the baby you and Mikey got?” Sweet-P, “I want to raise it. But I don’t know if he’ll let me get it back.” I asked, “Where did you have the baby?” She was very defensive and responded, “Why you wanna know where I had my baby? It’s not yours. But if you insist on getting a DNA test we can.” Hmm. So, now she was so sure the baby wasn’t mine. But wasn’t saying that for the 9 months she was pregnant and I was feeding both her and the baby inside her! She laughed and told me, “Unless you got light skin and green eyes, that baby ain’t yours! He look just like Mikey and I had the baby exactly 9 months after we had sex.” She went on to explain to me in detail why I was stupid to even think the baby boy could be mine...

I’m not sure why, but I wasn’t mad about her lies. I was more disappointed in myself for allowing her to play me and use me like she clearly did. Yeah I was heartbroken, too. The strangest part of our very long conversation was that Sweet-P didn’t seem to think anything was wrong with what she’d done. The more she explained everything to me, the more puzzled by her I became. Something about her definitely wasn’t normal. I mean, she’d just had her first child by her blood cousin! I expected more regret and emotions. Maybe some tears. But, she was cold as ice.

To this day, I’ve never seen that baby boy. Not even a picture. And eventually we just stopped talking about it [Exhale]. What I didn’t realize back then was, Sweet-P saw that as a weakness. And it sent a signal to her that I was an easy mark! Well, I thought what I was doing was just the right, Christian thing to do. Forgiveness. I mean, don’t we all make mistakes? OK, maybe not those kind of mistakes exactly. But none of us are perfect, right? Right. But what I failed to see was my reactions to her outrageous behavior were just the right formula necessary to create a monster! And that very same monster that I created would be my undoing...